


Hiveswap Oneshots

by paparoni



Category: Hiveswap
Genre: Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paparoni/pseuds/paparoni
Summary: This was going to be a Xefdam thing but then I read a Kupdam fic and my soul proceeded to be shredded so I guess it's general now. Feel free to drop suggestions, so long as you have a good prompt.A few rarepairs might be in here due to kin reasons, or suggestions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the pre-chapter notes section, where I will clarify the point of view (first person (character), third person limited (character), or third person omniscient). I will also clarify what the prompt was, what the pairing is, and where I got the idea/who suggested it.
> 
> This one is in first person from Dammek's point of view. It is a pale Xefdam story. The prompt was to write a story about one character being injured, and the other needing to take care of them.

"No, I'm not taking you to a fucking mediculler facility, they'll tear you to shreds!"  
I spoke before I even knew what I wanted to convey, but thankfully, it came out just fine.  
"Sorry, Dammek," Xefros whimpered in reply.  
I was taking Xefros back to my hive from a rather intense game of arena stickball. Almost all of the lower-blooded players had gotten killed, with the exception of Xefros and a few people on the other team.  
Needless to say, nobody won.  
It was starting to get light out, so I needed to hurry. All of the early-morning games were starting to get risky, and I suspected that some highblood had scheduled them so at least a few people would get fried under the hot Alternian sun.  
Xefros had gotten hit in the head, so he was probably concussed. His leg was twisted at an odd angle, so I had to carry the considerably larger troll back to my hive. He sure as fuck wasn't going anywhere soon.  
He also managed to hurt his wrist. He was up at bat, and one of the balls (I think it was the crowbar, which is ironic, seeing as seven is supposed to be a lucky number) hit his wrist. I could almost hear the crack it made.  
"Dammek," Xefros said, interrupting my thoughts.  
"Hmm?"  
"I was asking if you actually had any medical supplies," he said softly. "... Or at least, if you know where they are, since your hive is such a mess..."  
I glared at him. "Xefros, come on, you know I wouldn't misplace something so important."  
He apologized again, and I almost regretted saying anything. Recently, it had started to sunk in that I wasn't really treating him very well, but I didn't stop, because I always had to have the high ground. If I couldn't intimidate him, I couldn't intimidate anyone else. If I lost my nerve and surrendered, that would only be a sign of growing weakness, and perhaps Xefros only trusted me because he thought I had a level head. 

It took me far too long to realize I didn't.

Xefros had been rambling about something or other, but I was too busy basking in the comfortable rays of regret and self-hatred to really hear anything. I just opened the door to Xefros' hive, having decided that it would be better to clean him up in a cleaner area than the grimy space I called a hive. I felt a pang of guilt every time it was brought up, and it hurt.  
Maybe that's why I was so guarded all the time. Pain made me instinctively defend myself, whether socially or physically. Paranoia had made me see almost everything as a threat, so it was hard to let my guard down.  
"Dammek!" Xefros shouted, smacking my head a little. "That's enough, I'll be fine..."  
We had made it to the ablutionblock, and Xefros was sitting on the counter next to the sink. I was kneeled in front of him, patching his leg up. I glanced down at my hands, which had done this without me noticing. I supposed that was a good thing?  
However, upon being told to stop, I was suddenly unwilling to. "Your leg was beat up real bad," I said with almost fake sincerity. "Might as well go the extra mile. I don't want this happening again any time soon, and knowing you, you'll fuck it up if I don't put enough bandages on it. Just relax."  
Xefros sighed. "Dammek, I-"  
"You're concussed, Xefros, shut up."  
He whimpered out an apology, and I felt almost conflicted with myself. Part of me regretted having reduced him to this, especially since he was physically a lot stronger and bigger than I was, and could quite frankly kick my ass. I regretted having reduced him to anxiety and constant self-doubt, but on the other hand, I was so in control it was almost intoxicating. I had him wrapped around my finger, and it was up to me to decide what that meant for me.  
I knew not to go too far, though. Even I knew better than that. I knew my boundaries, and I knew that if I crossed them, I would hurt myself, too.  
I moved on to his wrist, sighing as I pulled myself away from my thoughts. "I'm sorry, Xefros," I admitted. "I'm sorry you have to fucking put up with me, and I know it sounds like I'm trying to guilt trip you, but this has been killing me."  
Xefros glanced down at me with confusion.  
"Dammek, I don't know what you're saying."  
"I'm saying I'm fucking sick of all this!" My thoughts were moving too fast to latch on to. As soon as I'd have a sentence, a thought, or a point to make, it floated away like a balloon cut from a child's hand. "I'm constantly fucking wallowing in my own self-doubt, constantly reprimanding myself for making you feel like shit, but I'm so obsessed with seeming perfect that I can't stop!"  
My rage was starting to boil inside of me, and I barely tried containing it. I managed to lash out on myself, though, and scratched at the skin on my arms. "I'm sick of dealing with myself, and I'm sick of my stupid overruling superiority complex!"  
I refrained from hitting anything dangerous, and instead, slammed my fist on the counter. "I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING I'VE PUT EVERYONE THROUGH!" I shouted. I had lost sight of what the point of the ramble was, and at this point, I had blown up. I was about as stable as a volcano, and I managed to flip my shit. Again.  
My vision cleared-- I hadn't even realized I was so angered that I was spacing out-- when Xefros put a hand under my chin and guided my head up to look at him. His expression, as always, was soft. What were moirails for, if not this?  
"Dammek, it's fine, I promise."  
I sighed again. "I-... I just want you to know I love you. I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you, but I want you to know that I care. I'm not trying to be bad, it's just... Something I can't change. I'm sorry. I love you."  
Xefros tugged on my arm, and I stood. He took me into his arms, kind of shoving my face into his broad chest.  
"... Thanks for putting up with me," I whispered as Xefros' hand tugged gently at my hair. He shushed me, and I just clung weakly to his shirt.  
It almost felt surreal. I was supposed to be keeping him from breaking down, holding his head to my chest, helping him calm down. Now, I, who just emphasized how much I didn't deserve to be rewarded for my behavior, was being held in a set of much stronger arms than my own.  
I supposed this is what Xefros meant. When he said he still got picked up by Zoosmell, and dragged to any overhanging branch in the hive that he could hang on safely, and was forced to stay there until he calmed down. It made him feel like a wiggler, but it felt nice to know someone was there for him, and it felt nice to take a break from everything and just focus on nothing.  
I felt the same way.  
I felt childish. I shouldn't have had to have been calmed down by anyone, I was expected to have everything in check by now. But it just felt nice to be held, and to hear Xefros' calm breathing, hear his heartbeat. I wanted to memorize those tiny details, so if anything happened, I'd still have a living piece of him with me...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another pale Xefdam story, this time from Xefros' point of view. In this story, Xefros is a trans boy, and the story was based off of something that happened to me.
> 
> PLEASE KEEP IN MIND-- This chapter mentions hanging and hair pulling, and also deals VERY heavily with transphobia. If any of these things upset you, you can skip this chapter.

"Tell her to hurry up!"  
"What's taking her so long?"  
"Why is she always so slow?"

It was never the insults that hurt. I knew I was slow, I was dumb, I always took too long. I never cared if someone told me something I already knew. If someone tells you 2 + 2 = 4, you don't get upset for not having known that, because you already know it. You kind of just say, "I know," and move on. So, when someone tells me I'm an idiot, I just say, "I know," and move on. 

Pronouns, though... Those hurt. I was already constantly crawling in my skin from the way my hair hit the back of my neck when it got too long, the way I couldn't lay on a desk without having genuine pain because I'm too busty. I was already constantly wanting to crawl under a rock and suffocate myself because of how people see me. So when people just add salt to the wound... It hurts. It hurts.

"She," "her," "girl," "lady," you name it. I knew when people did it on purpose. There's a certain demeanor behind their tone of voice, where you can just tell whether they're forgetting or trying to get you to snap. Of course, I had never snapped, until... Then. A few months ago.

I was late. I was kind of just taking my time, because honestly, there was no rush. I just got my things and headed calmly to the place Dammek had set up for an announcement. A very important one, but really, I didn't need to be there so urgently.

But apparently, Dammek thought I did, because when I got there, Dammek was standing in front of a small crowd, trying to quiet everyone down. It worked, but only when I entered. Some people turned to look at me, and at least a quarter of the room instantly saw their chance. 

"Hey, she's here!" I heard someone say. Bad intentions. They knew what they were doing. It annoyed me, but I'd be able to move on.

"Hey, now that she's here, we can start!" Another one shouted. 

"She's back, can we go now?"

"Finally, she got her shit together! Let's go!" They just kept going. Of course, I had been intentionally misgendered a lot, but that was always just one or two people. I started remembering past events.

"Where is she?"  
"Uh, actually, I'm a boy-"  
" **No you're not!** "

That stung. 

"You're not a boy, you're a girl!"

I was powerless. And I knew that then, in that moment, I was powerless to stop the insane amount of comments piling onto my back. I covered my ears and closed my eyes, trying to get out even just a little, but I could still hear their smug voices, see their smug expressions. 

And in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to just drill into their heads that what they were doing was not okay. I wanted to make them understand that there is a reason I'm sensitive about it, and it's not funny when it makes me want to hang myself.

My fingers closed around my hair, pulling at it in frustration. I was still powerless, but something needed to be done. Something needed to be said.

" **STOP IT!** "

I didn't recognize my own voice, but I still wanted to say more. I knew, however, that nothing else needed to be said, and if I tried speaking more, I'd look like a fool.

The room went silent. In shock, I lowered my hands and tried not to look at anyone. I could feel tears on their way, and I felt bad for wanting to cry. I knew Dammek was in the room, though, so I looked for him up front.

He wasn't there. My lungs suddenly couldn't hold enough air, and I looked frantically for my moirail. I jus needed someone to lean on.

Heavy footsteps got louder, and when I turned, Dammek was running for me. I almost recoiled.

He took me in his arms and just held me there. He didn't say anything, he just kept my head pressed to his chest.

Finally, I cried. I buried my face into his shoulder and cried, while Dammek kept his hand on my head and played with my hair.

 

The meeting's topic was changed after that.


End file.
